There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

A reproductive health clinic has a sign that reads
For family planning and contraception, come through the back door

The woman who fell from the cruise ship has been identified.
Her name: Eileen Dover

A man drives his boat out to sea to a nearby fishing spot.
He catches a fish on the very first cast. When he pulls it in, the fish begins talking to him.

I could hear your boat coming 10 minutes ago. This is because sound travels four times faster in seawater than air. Researchers say this is also why whales can communicate hundreds of miles apart.

The fisherman says, Wow, youre a really intelligent fish!

The fish says, Im really here to distract you from catching the rest of my family. Because Im a read herring.

BREAKING: Iran just torpedoed its own submarine in the Strait of Hormuz, killing all 100 sailors on board.
Oops wrong sub.

yeah

I Finally Cracked the Illusive 3 Word Joke (my personal record for shortest joke)
Watches are handy

I like it because you get a triple play on the handy: handy as in convenient, handy as in the watch has hands, and handy as in a wrist is near your hand, making it handy.

Anyway, do you have any 3 word jokes or shorter? This is my personal record, but I love joke craft so hit me with em.

Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....

I put a matchbox car in my underwear this morning
It's been driving me nuts all day

Did you know that any time two Egyptology professors are in the same room, they fart simultaneously?
It's the curse of Toot-in-Common

Did you know horses have a low divorce rate?
Its because they have a stable home environment

What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.

If you watched a World Cup game earlier in the tournament, you can skip the final.
Once youve seen one youve seen Yamal.

Military officers make up a lot of cover stories, but they're not all liars
There's a colonel of truth.

Did you hear about the Pharmacist who spilled Pepto Bismol on the floor?
He got the pink slip.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

Did you hear about the My Heart Will Go On singer getting hit over the head with a vase?
Por celain

Whats worse than raining cats & dogs?
Hailing taxis.

What do you call a detective who accidentally solves all his cases?
Sheer Luck Holmes.

I made six figures last year. Then I got fired from the toy factory
Apparently I wasnt making them fast enough.

A doctor told me that my days are numbered.
I said, of course they are. Thats how calendars work.

Almost 20 years after retirement, due to suspected steroid use, the Rocket still hasnt been voted into baseballs hall of fame.
Cant someone grant him Clemens-cy?

TIFU by accidentally not boarding the right sea vessel in the Navy
Shit, wrong sub

I entered ten puns into a joke contest
I thought one would win...

No pun in ten did.