Why was my post removed?
Can someone please tell me why my post was removed?

Im very frustrated because now my fence has fallen over.

My son said, "What rhymes with orange?" I pondered for a while and replied...
"No, it doesn't."

I asked my therapist why Im so scared of fruit.
She said, Its probably because of some deep berried trauma.

What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper??
fizzician

I invented a new game. Quiet tennis
Just like regular tennis but without the racket

I saw a bunch of donkeys, but they ran away from me
Then I saw a bunch of asses

Shania Twains hometown just named a new building after her.
The Twain Station.

At the federal reserve a coin press broke down but they can't find out why.
The mechanic says: "It just doesn't make any cents."

I can't milk a cow for the life of me.
I'm an udder failure.

My teenage son was throwing a party in the backyard
It was nothing too crazy so I told him to be responsible and went to bed.

However, by the time the sun came up they were still going. As if that wasnt bad enough, theyd also turned the music up so loud that you couldnt hear yourself speak and there were thick clouds of smoke in the air from all the drugs they were doing. I was furious.

And so I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs Whats going on?

Beer can damage your short term memory
But so can beer

Do you know the vegan capital of the UK?
Nothingham

I've run out of toilet paper so I've started using old newspaper...
the Times are rough

My tire blew out and I can't get to work!
Guess I'll have to retire.

Wife, "Why are you making pancakes for the dog?"
Me, "Because he doesn't know how."

I bought a pen that can write under water...
it can also write other words and phrases.

My wife asked me if I wanted a dilla for dinner.
But I was really hungry, so I asked her for a whole quesadillas.

Two lawn care guys were feuding
They were just a couple of mow foes.

Why are deaf people good at not conforming?
They dont follow a heard mentality

Why was the laptop cold?
Because its Windows was open!

Did you hear about the Greek philosopher who refused to cover her breasts?
Her name was Aristopless.

Did you guys hear about the world wide sting operation on people who mix drinks?
Many of them are behind bars right now.

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo
I had to put my foot down.

My friend got me a book for my birthday called Recipes for Cooking Road-kill.
I found some road-kill the other day, cooked it and it was delicious..

Not sure what to do with the bicycle though.

my daughter asked me why ocean birds are almost all lesbians
because she sees all the "seagirls" but rarely hears about "sea boys"