I'm using only fans right now and it's hot.
I'm waiting for a technician to get my air conditioner fixed

I asked a girl to go out with me but she said that my face looked like the back of a boat.
I didnt reply, but I gave her a stern look.

Last weekend I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed in her apartment.
I declined - I just cant deal with high maintenance women.

In bed with a priest, a nun said, "Father, I never expected you'd have such a small organ".
He replied, "why, sister... I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral."

A tough old Texas cowboy once gave his granddaughter some unusual advice. He told her that if she wanted to live a long, healthy life, the secret was simple: sprinkle a small pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal every single morning.
Not wanting to argue with a man who had survived cattle drives, dust storms, and Texas summers, the granddaughter took his advice to heart. Every morning, without fail, she added just a pinch of gunpowder to her breakfast.

She followed this routine faithfully for the rest of her life.

The years passed, and the advice seemed to work. She lived an exceptionally long life, finally passing away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 103.

She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren

and a 40-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

True fact: Dolly Parton once entered a Dolly Parton look-a-like contest and didn't win! Same thing happened to Charlie Chaplin & Elvis Presley.
I understand the last two. Neither of them look like Dolly Parton.

Yet another discussion about NSFW jokes
To the mods: I know this has been a hotly debated topic for many years, but I noticed that most posts discussing this fall back on personal opinion/taste/propriety to claim that NSFW jokes should be excluded from the community. However, I wanted to take a different approach and look from the holistic angle of how "Dad Joke" is generally understood across the internet, not just in this subreddit's description. I attempted to use non-biased and non-leading sites and google searches, to avoid cherry picked results.

Wikipedia for Dad Jokes:

A dad joke is a joke typically involving a pun, often presented as a one-liner or a question and answer. Generally inoffensive, dad jokes are told with sincere humorous intent or to provoke a negative "groaning" reaction to their overly simplistic humor. Dad jokes are so-called because they are stereotypically thought to be those a father figure would tell to a child.

Urban Dictionary for Dad Jokes (pulling excerpts from 2 of the top 4 results, as the other two don't address audience or clean/crude nature at all):

An indescribably cheesy and/or dumb joke made by a father to his children.

The Dad Joke is a pejorative term to describe a corny or predictable joke, typically a pun. Generally inoffensive, Dad Jokes are traditionally told by fathers among family, either with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction.

From TV Tropes, "So Unfunny It's Funny", referring to the character trope of those that make dad jokes:

A character or show whose jokes are so bad, and whose sense of humor is so trite, corny, and childish that paradoxically you can't help but laugh at it... In English slang, this type of joke is commonly called a "groaner" or "dad joke"

Old 2023 article describing the difference between puns and dad jokes. First result when googling "pun vs dad joke":

One defining characteristic of dad jokes is their inherent uncoolness. These jokes often embrace corniness and intentionally steer clear of modern trends or edgy humor.

The website PunCity specifically calls out that dad jokes must have "innocent subject matter" in their article on dad jokes vs puns. (Once again, a top google result when googling "pun vs dad joke.)

So hopefully this has shown that the broad consensus across the internet is that dad jokes are family-friendly.

As an additional point, the current stance of this subreddit is that redditors are free to up/downvote NSFW jokes according to taste, but I would appeal to the mods that the structure of reddit and its feeds means that many redditors arrive at a post not knowing what community they're even in, especially when there is overlap in the scope of several communities. Therefore a majority of the upvotes on NSFW jokes are NOT saying "this is a good DAD joke", and are instead just saying "lol". The sheer numbers pushed by algorithms means these uninformed votes will pretty much always outnunber any community members that take time to actually assess whether they think a particular post is a good DAD joke. This structure de-emphasizes the clean humor that potentially makes this community unique, instead making it feel closer to the spamming of edgy humor that defines many of the default subreddits, like AskReddit and Jokes. Perhaps I am overly optimistic, but I would guess that this community would have (even) better growth and retention if it was more unique, not less.

I saw a piece of toast at the zoo...
The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

My butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work that day.

I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11...
It was just a spare, I guess.

What does a horny frog say?
Rub it

What do "Titanic" and "the 6th sense" have in common?
Icy dead people.

How often do mushrooms reproduce?
Sporadically.

My kid asked, Dad, why is there always a cape, top hat, and playing cards all over your bedroom floor?
I said, Because thats where the magic happens.

My banana was hard to open
I find that unappealing.

Apparently you *have* to call them Personal Computers now...
Anything else just isn't PC.

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he walked away he turned to the cadet & said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge, no sir! I promised myself when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

I know a friar who curiously owns a pair of Nike Air shoes.
Since then, I've called him the "Air Friar."

What does a vibrator and soy protein have in common?
They're both meat substitutions

Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?
You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap-sized.

I got ripped off at a telescope shop..
They must have seen me coming!

In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down exactly 82,546 trees.
I know that, because I kept a log.

I went to a zoo, but all they had was 1 dog...
It was a shih tzu.

The cheapest meat you can buy is deer testicles.
They're under a buck.

What do you call a guy with no shins?
Tony