There is to be a British spinoff version of Stranger Things
It will be called:

Bit Odd In'it?

A guy took his date to prom
When they arrived they had to wait in a very long line to get in. Once inside they waited in a line to use the restroom, they waited in line to get their pictures, waited in line to get on the dance floor, and waited in line to get some snacks. He went to get them something to drink and was surprised.

Much like this joke there was no punch line.

Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn for 24 hours.
So they called it a day.

Dozens of people were involved in an altercation at at the nudist camp.
Police had never seen such naked aggression!

At the gas station
Yesterday morning I lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped

at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was

filling up her car at the next pump.

As she walked past the truck to go pay for the gas, she glanced at the

two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window,

and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella.

Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of ammo 'ya got?"

I haven't seen her since.

I tripped over my wifes bra getting out of bed this morning.
I think it was a booby trap.

What's the difference between an outlaw and an in-law?
Outlaws are wanted

Why do keyboards never sleep?
Because they have 2 shifts.

If the Devil ever starts losing his hair...
...there will be Hell toupe

Thanks to the Fourth Amendment, becoming a US citizen cured me of my neurological disorder
Now I have some real protection against unreasonable seizures.

I just got a new step ladder
I never knew my real ladder

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

My daughter 11 year old daughter, being a smart ass, asked if she was adopted.
I said, "not yet."

I usually don't like dolphins, but I had a great conversation with one the other day
We just clicked

Why do vampires hate gambling?
They can't handle the stakes

During one battle, rebels attacked the troops with pepper spray and mustard gas.
Those troops are now seasoned veterans.

As Dad's where do we keep and organize our jokes?
In a dada base

I feel bad for kids whose dads are pilots
The jokes always fly right over their heads

My cousin just quit his job as a lawyer to become a dog breeder. It turns out...
He prefers Boxers over Briefs.

Just bought a new ladder!
Its definitely a step up from my previous one

Im only 87.5% sure theres a God.
Im a Seven Eighths Adventist.

My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards.
I asked: Ynot?

I was about to propose to my girlfriend
When my roommate Joseph barged into the garden out of nowhere, tripped, and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now I don't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let's say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten a big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those big cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend.

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together, leaving me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for Joe with his cotton eye, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

I want to tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants
You have probably never heard of herbivore

Source (sskaden on insta )

What do you get when you cross a dog and a snowman?
Frostbite