8 bees can kill you but if you add 1 more bee you are safe.
Because its bee 9.

Worlds wisest man
Bob had terrible BO and no matter how much he washed & scrubbed he couldn't get rid of it. He tried hundreds of soaps & shampoos but nothing seemed to work. He showered 5 times a day, kept the AC on 24/7 & avoided garlic & beans like the plague

alas, people still gagged as they walked behind him.

Disheartened and down to his last few dollars, Bob walked sullenly down the street. On the corner of the block was a sign that read World's Wisest Man! A solution to all your problems or your money back!'

Intrigued, Bob went in. After a short wait he was ushered in to a small room, where a monk with a long beard was meditating. A nameplate on one wall read Weng Li

Before Bob could say a word, Weng Li began to speak. 'Heed my words child. I know of the issues that plague you.

Take this insect and let it climb along yourself every morning.

Bewildered, Bob took the jar containing the bug and left. His his odor had ruined his life for years. Surely even this was worth a shot? Once home, he started to fall asleep.

He let the bug out and it all over him climbed on him for several minutes. Suddenly, Bob realized his odor was gone. Jumping for joy, he ran back into town to thank Weng Li.

Weng Li! Weng Li! I dont smell anymore! How did you know that the bug would work? Bob cried.

Weng Li gave a mysterious smile and said, The moment my eyes fell upon you I knew all you needed was a deodor-ant.

A city man was driving through the countryside when he saw a farmer with a massive herd of cattle.
Impressed, he pulled over and asked, "That's a fine herd you've got there. How much milk do they produce each year?"

The farmer asked, "Which ones? The black cows or the white cows?"

"Let's say the black ones," the man replied.

"They produce about 10,000 liters a year," said the farmer.

"And the white ones?" asked the visitor.

"They produce about 10,000 liters a year too," the farmer said.

Puzzled, the man asked, "Well, what about their feed? How much do they eat?"

"Which ones? The black ones or the white ones?" the farmer asked again.

"The black ones," said the man.

"They eat about 20 kilos of grass a day," the farmer answered.

"And the white ones?"

"The white ones eat about 20 kilos of grass a day too," the farmer said.

The man, now thoroughly confused, asked, "Why do you keep asking me 'which ones' if the answer is always the same?"

The farmer replied, "Because the black ones are mine".

"Ah," said the man. "And the white ones?"

"The white ones are mine too," the farmer answered.

I just finished a tough negotiation to buy a truckload of raw metals.
It was quite the ore deal.

"And remember," said the boss, "There's no I in TEAM!"
"Yeah," muttered one of the peons, "And there's not much sign of U in it either."

What do you call a guy with no shins
Tony

Why don't spies fart in bed?
Because it would blow their cover

Conversation on an airplane
Jack was sitting on a plane getting ready to depart to New Orleans when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale with shaking hands.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked.

"I've been transferred to New Orleans there's crazy people there, the guy replied. Theyve got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools and the highest
crime rate."

Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own
business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed stopped shaking and said, Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"

Me?" said Jack.
I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

Why do sandwich shops do so well when n Alabama
Because they like everything in bread

Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
Because all the fans left.

RIP a good friend of mine
His wife sent him out to get some sewing thread, but he ended up in the pub all day.
Gone but not for cotton.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my word.

Someone said to me, that they like my hair.
I replied, that I like my oldest son as well.

I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas
There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count

If Vitamins are vital for human health...
why do we call them Vitamin, and not Vitamax?

I told my son it was time for his nap.
He refused to go lie down, so with a heavy heart I had to report him to the police. He was resisting a rest.

Whats a gym bros favorite supplement?
Brotein powder.

I got punched by a man clenching a roll of quarters.
Nothing personal. He was just beating some cents into me.

In which US state would they only speak Japanese in the morning?
Ohio-Gozaimasu!

My conspiracy theorist uncle just moved into a ranch style house to get away from stairs.
He claims they're either up to something or down for anything.

I recently opened a new restaurant!
Well, it is a combination restaurant and tire shop.

It has not yet been Michelin rated, but Goodyear gave us 4 stars

I narrowly avoided an attack from my pants
It was a clothes encounter!

I tried opening a restaurant for indecisive people
The menu just says Whatever.

The kama sutra is all well and good.
Not worth getting bent out of shape over it imho.