I met a genie once. He gave me one wish. I said I wish I could be you.
The genue saud, "weurd wush but U wull grant ut."

Why was Sauron not as dark as Melkor?
Because Melkor was Morgoth

Finally - I got an amused smile from my wife after a Dadjoke/Pun
We were on a bushwalk today and for several dozen meters I farted audibly - perfectly in synch with each step.

I commented, Fart, Step, Fart, Step, Fart, Step .. Then paused and said, I guess that makes me a step-farter
(I am actually a step-father to her adult kids, so it seemed extra appropriate)

She actually gave an amused smile, when she normally groans or refuses to respond. Finally - a win!! Yes

A priest, a doctor, and a golfer are waiting at a tee while a painfully slow group plays ahead of them.
After watching them take forever, the golfer finally explodes:

What is wrong with these guys?! Theyre terrible!

The caddy nearby says,

Oh, you didnt hear? That group is made up of firefighters who lost their sight saving people from a burning building. They play once a week.

The priest bows his head and says,

Thats so tragic Ill say a prayer for them tonight.

The doctor says,

I know a specialist who might be able to help restore some vision.

The golfer pauses, then says

Why cant they just play at night?

I used to have a car with wooden body, wooden tires, wooden seats and wooden lights.
But I got rid of it, because it wooden start.

The other day I was out on a boat when a giant squid appeared and tried to make me laugh.
It was kraken jokes!

I hear the Shah of Persia runs his palace on Windows NT. But in the harem?
Only Unix allowed inside.

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back into port they can Scandinavian.

My boss said to me today, Youre the worst train driver ever. How many trains have you derailed so far?
I said its hard to keep track

I can't think of any word that starts with N and ends with G.
Nothing in the English language starts with N and ends with G!

What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.

Not to brag or anything, but I made six figures last year.
I was also named the worst employee at the toy factory.

I had a date last night. It was perfect. Tomorrow..
Ill try a grape.

I watched a stolen movie with a 3.14 star review
Its pirated.

A physicist takes his son to the swimming pool. There, they see someone do an impressive dive off the high diving board.
The boy tells his father that he wants to be a diver. Then he climbs up the ladder onto the high diving board, walks to the edge of the board, looks down, and then climbs back down the ladder.

Dad, he says, its scary from that height. I dont want to be a diver anymore.

Such a shame, says the physicist. You had a lot of potential.

Why did the man carry french fries while walking his poodle in the winter?
Everyone knows fries go great with a chili dog!

The other day, I asked the librarian if she had any books about dinosaurs that she recommends.
She replied, "Try Sarah Topps."

Wife just said, "Coffees kinda light today."
My response, "Yeah. Didn't want your arms to get tired before you do the dishes." . I laughed... then i finished the dishes.

I bought a defective inflatable bed from Linkin Park
In the end, it doesn't even mattress.

I went to a restaurant and they served me a dessert followed by appetizer followed by a main
Wrong order.

Russian nesting dolls are so self-centered.
They're completely full of themselves.

Yesterday I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said never mind and I paid with 2 dollar bills

I've always admired my salmon coworker.
He's always been noted for his work e-fish-in-sea.

My friend has that thing where you're scared of being in a small space with a cat.
It's clawstrophobia.

You should sing solo
So low I cant hear you!

Also:

You should sing Tenor.

Ten or Fifteen miles away!

Are there any more specific to singing like this?