What is the difference between panties and female reproductive organs?One is undies the other is ovaries.
Sorry. I'm drunk. Edited because someone reminded me of what I thought of before I drunkenly posted this.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 3 years...
I didn't want to interrupt her.
I knew a guy who got engaged five different times ...
that's a lot of near-Mrs.
Its been three weeks since Dolly died
I am still suffering from post-Parton depression though
Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?
To take up more time playing that harmonica
Jesus said: Come forth and receive eternal life
But John came fifth and won a toaster
I told you on our first date...A man who could drink no milk without getting sick thought he had finally met the perfect mate. She was smart, beautiful, funny and accepted his dairy limitations without pause. There was only one thing, she refused to take her shoes off in front of him. But he accepted that, and soon they were married.
Finally, on their wedding night she came to bed, completely naked, wearing not even a pair of socks. It was then the truth came out, she had been born with two club feet.
The man took one look, and asked for an immediate annulment. His new wife was shocked and begged him to reconsider. But, the man was adamant. "What did I tell you on our very first date," he asked? "I am completely lack toes intolerant"!
I said to the doctor, Ive got a problem with my earHe said are you sure?
Yes Im definite
I bought a dictionary online. When it arrived all the pages were completely blank.
I have no words
A sheep, a drum, and a snake walk into a bar
Ba Dum Tss
Some thief is stealing wheels off police cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight, unless
youre prepared to handle the reaper cushions.
Conjunctivitis.com
thats a site for sore eyes
How does a butcher introduce his wife?
Meet Pattie
I never told a joke about guns...
But I'll give it a shot.
What did the house wear to the party
A Dress (address)
I was at the airport and saw Jeff Goldblum frantically arguing with a TSA agent
I found out later he was on the no-fly list
I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
I got thesaurus throat Ive ever had.
What does a gorilla use to fix a circus tricycle?
A monkey wrench
What's God's Favorite chord?
Gsus
Did you hear about the bunny rabbit who became a scientist?
Every day, some hare brained idea.
My local baker went bankrupt yesterday.
He just couldn't make enough dough.
Why are pirates called pirates..?.. because they Arrrr!
What is a pirate's favourite letter..?
.. do I hear you say R?
Noooo, because they live for the C!
Good night folks.
I quit the balloon store today...
The inflation was getting to be too much.