There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....

The woman who fell from the cruise ship has been identified.
Her name: Eileen Dover

A reproductive health clinic has a sign that reads
For family planning and contraception, come through the back door

Did you know that any time two Egyptology professors are in the same room, they fart simultaneously?
It's the curse of Toot-in-Common

If you watched a World Cup game earlier in the tournament, you can skip the final.
Once youve seen one youve seen Yamal.

Did you know horses have a low divorce rate?
Its because they have a stable home environment

What do you call a detective who accidentally solves all his cases?
Sheer Luck Holmes.

I made six figures last year. Then I got fired from the toy factory
Apparently I wasnt making them fast enough.

A doctor told me that my days are numbered.
I said, of course they are. Thats how calendars work.

Whats worse than raining cats & dogs?
Hailing taxis.

I put a matchbox car in my underwear this morning
It's been driving me nuts all day

TIFU by accidentally not boarding the right sea vessel in the Navy
Shit, wrong sub

BREAKING: Iran just torpedoed its own submarine in the Strait of Hormuz, killing all 100 sailors on board.
Oops wrong sub.

yeah

Did you hear about the My Heart Will Go On singer getting hit over the head with a vase?
Por celain

To the guy who stole my anti-depressants
I hope youre happy now.

Almost 20 years after retirement, due to suspected steroid use, the Rocket still hasnt been voted into baseballs hall of fame.
Cant someone grant him Clemens-cy?

I entered ten puns into a joke contest
I thought one would win...

No pun in ten did.

What goes black and white, black and white, black and white STINK !
A skunk falling down the stairs.

What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.

How do you make a squid laugh?
With ten-tickles !

I stupidly hired a rabbi connected with the mafia to do my sons circumcision.
After getting threatened, I told my wife we better pay up or well have mohel to pay.

Why do shepherds hate puns?
Because they're baaaaaaaad.

Captain punched his copilot in the face when asked if they are taking off
For once he chose the fight response

I made myself laugh, and that's all that matters.
My boyfriend told me he has a Messi jersey. I told him he should probably wash it, then.