If tomb is pronounced TOOM
and womb is pronounced WOOM

why isn't bomb pronounced BOOM?

It just might be....................if you're on the receiving end.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit went to a clinic to donate some blood...
Nurse (to the rabbit): What's your blood type?

Rabbit: I'm probably a type O.

What do you call a Sugar that can write with both Hands?
Ambidextrose

What happens when something hits you at high frequency?
It hertz

The Mandalorian asked Little Miss Mufet what she was eating for dinner.
She replied, "This is the whey."

What do you call a person who dies whilst lifting weights?
A Dumb Bell End.

I'll never forget how many sit ups my dad used to make me do
They're core memories.

Spiders.
Why dont spiders go to school ? Because they learn everything on the web .

I was debating where to stream the new Hamlet movie.
Tubi or not Tubi...

Why couldn't the Mexican archer hunt?

He didn;t habanero.

I've just received the news I'm a kleptomaniac
To be fair I took it rather easily

I finally organized my junk drawer. Now it's just a drawer
and I cant find any of my junk!

A cowboy walks into a bar petting his pony. Bartender asks
Are you feeling a little horse?

If you're American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

My doctor told me Im going deaf.
The news was hard for me to hear...

I finally got with a girl last night
Now all my posts to r/jokes show up here, something wrong with reddit?

My girlfriend said shes missing her periods
I said: no wonder you always text me in run on sentences.

I told my goofy math teacher that
Trigonometry jokes are a sin

My toddler wouldn't nap, so I unplugged the nightlight and said "lights out"
He said, "Watt"?

I said, "Don't argue, I've got the power here. I will ground you if I have to"

Wifey.
I was really struggling to get my wife's attention.
So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.

After years of putting it off, I finally finished my book on Italian seasoning.
Its about thyme.

Whats a cannibals favorite cold cut?
Baloney (below-knee)

When you are with Spanish speaking friends, make sure you say "mucho" often
It means a lot to them.

What actor are you most likely to see strolling about?
Christopher Walken

Did you know that Mjolnir has a different name when Thor throws it?
Then it becomes Mjolfar.