The inventors of the brochure have sadly passed away.
RIP Pam Flett and her husband, Lee.

My wife just finished a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning
Its a girl.
Weighs 7 lbs 12 oz.

My son showed me a picture of his new girlfriend
She was dressed in full hockey gear including pads, a mask, gloves and a blocker.

I said "congratulations. She looks like a keeper."

Did you hear about the priest who stapled his testicles together?
He figured if you can't beat them, join them.

If you know any good fish puns
...please let minnow.

A chicken was found dead in his coop.
He was a victim of fowl play

What is a police officers favorite thing to wear?
A pull over

My grandfather was quite sick. The medicines weren't working so we tried covering his back with lard.
After that he went downhill very quickly.

Microsoft just entered the domestic appliance market with a new vacuum cleaner
It's the first thing they've done in quite some time that didn't suck.

I got gas for $1.49 today
Unfortunately it was from Taco Bell

Maths.
There's a fine line between a denominator and a numerator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

And less than half will get it.

What are two witches, that live together?
Broommates

I'm thinking about posting an online broadcast about sheep who eat potatoes.
I'm thinking about posting an online broadcast about sheep who eat potatoes. Would that make me a EweTuber?

A guy gave his friends 10 puns hoping that one of them would make him laugh.
Sadly no pun in ten did.

So you wanna learn how to prepare Japanese style soy sauce?
Its a little hard to explain, but I can Shoyu.

I was born with four kidneys
Now I have two kidneys and two adult knees

I have trouble sleeping, so I got myself some blackout curtains.
The difference is like night and day.

A woman proves she can take on heavy projects
A woman was tired of people acting like she didnt know how to do things around the house, so one day she decided she was going to prove she could handle a big project all on her own.

While her husband was at work, she decided shed paint a couple of rooms.

Later that afternoon, her husband came home and immediately smelled fresh paint.

He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor, exhausted and dripping with sweat wearing a heavy parka over a leather jacket.

He rushed over. Are you okay?

She said, Im fine. I just wanted to prove I could do this myself.

He looked at her and asked, Honey why in the world are you wearing a jacket and a parka?

She pointed to the paint can and said:

Because the directions say: For best results, put on two coats.

Which type of doctor is most available?
An on-call-ogist

What do you call somebody that has no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.

What is the favorite meal of skeletons?
Ribs

Wanna hear a dirty joke?
The white horse got all muddy!

I asked my husband to explain "active verbs" to me, but after his explanation
I know I'm fucking stupid.

Fork lift operator has been out of work for sometime
Hopefully, things pick up soon!

My wife told me it was my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers or her
So I quit cold turkey