So, my teenage son has been trying really hard to get on his school's golf team. He just started playing golf 3 months ago, but spends over 10 hours per week practicing, and he's progressing well...
Yes, he's hooked (or is it sliced?! ). Anyway, he gets home from tryout game#1, and he can't stop talking about another student competitor, Cole.

"Yeah I did well, but Cole has been golfing since he was 4 years old! And he shot a 38 on this tough course!" And "Cole is awesome" and "Cole, this, ....and Cole, that",.. as you can imagine...

I immediately quipped "it sounds like he's a Cole-in-One!"

Well by now my wife's had more than enough of my dad jokes. She actually got angry, I'm not kidding. That's why I'm here in this sub! Anyone else have this problem?

My wife told me she was going to have to get a mammogram.
I told her to be sure to let me know the results of the inbreastigation.
Catching up with an old friend over dinner, I asked what hes been up to. He said, Well, recently Ive been abroad.
I said, Well theres clearly more work ahead because you look as manly as ever.
Where do pirates get their hooks?
Second hand stores
A limbo champion walked into a bar.
He was disqualified.
Moscow was ranked one of the most impatient cities in the world
Seems like everyone is always Russian.
A pod of Orcas are robbing ships at sea!
This Orcanized Crime must be dealt with!
A family of mice were out walking, and were suddenly surprised by a large cat. Father Mouse stood his ground, drew himself up to his full height, and shouted BOW-WOW-WOW at the cat. The cat, alarmed, ran off.
The cat, alarmed, ran off.

The mouse kids were very impressed.

That was fantastic, Dad! How did you do that? asked one of the boy mice.

That, son, explained Father Mouse, demonstrates the value of learning a second language.

Thought Id share my greatest dad joke moments.
The first happened when I opened the door to go into the toilets. Just as I opened it, a woman on the other side was coming out and we nearly bumped into each other. She had camouflage-pattern trousers on. I gestured at her trousers and said, sorry, didnt see you there! (She didnt seem to think I was funny).

The second time I was doing a group mindfulness exercise that involved standing on one foot for a minute. Afterwards, we had to say what was going through our minds. One of the group leaders said that shed injured her foot the week before and said that she was trying to remember which foot isnt right. So I said, the left one!. I actually did get a few chuckles for that one.

Am I allowed to be an honorary dad?

My parents have fallen behind on the payments for my mums hearing aids and she doesnt even know where shes put them
Theyre in arrears
Why does Dracula always bite people in the neck?
It's because he's a neck romancer.
How do toucans communicate?
With a string between them.
Who would win in a race between a Koala and a Polar Bear? The Polar Bear.
Bearly.
Was picking up takeout and called my wife.
Asked if she wanted to hear the specials.

"Sure"

"This town ahha is coming like a ghost town..."

Link for non-Brits.

If a doctor is flying a paraglider
are they considered a paramedic?

My son just asked me this (proud dad moment)

I have a joke about the flu.
But, if you had the vaccine recently, you probably won't get it.
My ex wife used to hit me with stringed instraments
If only I had known she had a history of violins
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
I got my covid test back yesterday
It said 50. What does that mean? Also got my iq test back, it said positive
Why do cows have hooves and not feet?
Because they "lactose"
Two ships, one carrying red paint and the other blue paint collided
A search is on the way to find survivors, but both crews are believed to be marooned.
Im having a really hard time remembering the rivers of France and Egypt
I think Im going Seine Nile
REQUEST: How was the bath?
I live in Japan and my family usually has a bath every night. (NOT together, one by one.)

My wife always asks, "How was the bath?"

Looking for some material.

What sound does a bouncy ball make when a pilot throws it down the stairs?
Boeing, Boeing, Boeing
I try to be a good person...
But then some knucklehead cuts in front on me doing ten below the speed limit, and I gotta try again tomorrow.