Who's the strongest Arab?
The protein sheikh.

I got cast in a film about a bakery. Its not a huge part.
Just a small roll

No, I will not loan you my concealed explosive devices.
They're mine.

What do vampires eat for dessert?
Diabetics

There are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
That's plane to sea.

"Dad, why are those ants carrying signs and chanting slogans?"
"Son, those are Protest ants."

My wife got a new Bible and asked where she should start
I said,

In The beginning

Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well
Well theyre not laughing now

Olaf the Viking is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears. "What's the matter?" asks Olaf. "Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets."
"No problem," says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you."

Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.

At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.

"I'd really like to thank you," says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, "but I don't even know who you are!"

Olaf just waves and walks off.

"I was really worried about you," comments the old lady's husband. "What have you been doing?"

" I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."

I had to delete the U2 GPS app off my phone...
The streets had no name plus I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Did you hear about the witch with inflammatory bowel problems?
Crones disease

Why do women prefer rocks to minerals?
because typically, mineral the same.

Are monsters good at math?
No, unless you Count Dracula!

You hear about the guy who was hospitalized for loosing his entire right side?
There's still plenty of him left.

Why didn't Adam and Eve have a MacBook or an iPhone?
Because God has this thing about Apples...

Did you hear about the man who was born with five penises?
He walked kind of funny, but his pants fit like a glove.

I became vegan 3 years ago. Every meal now feels like ..
A missed steak

Never date a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.

I want a pet thats easy to care for and Im considering getting a Mexican salamander
I heard they dont axelotl of you.

I told my wife I had an affair with a camelid.
She wasnt happy. I guess alpaca my stuff and leave.

What would you call a reindeer that likes to swim in the ocean?
Rudolphin.

Why should someone with great reflexes be in a leadership role?
They have a lot of response ability

Terrible joke
What do you call an alternative metal band of pigs?

Linkin' Pork

How did Grogu travel through time?
With a Man-DeLorean.